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by lilsumpthins from High Point

Last Post 5 days, 11 hours Ago


Frustrated!
May 6, 2008 | 4:06 PM
Category: News
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My son is 6 and attends Oakview Elementary School in High Point.  Every day I pick him up in the car rider line and we have only had problems with him a few times this year.  However, there is one teacher who is hateful to my son and I any time she has some kind of problem handling my son.  You can just read the hate and displeasure with her job all over her face.  I'm going to restrain myself and not use her name in this blog....that's not how I roll..LOL.

Previously she has come  up to my car and talked to me in a very hateful manner about my son acting up in the car rider line. Probably been all total about 4 times this year. The very first of the year he was sent to the office and I wrote a letter to the principle complaining about having two toddlers in the car and having to drag them out of the car and up to the principles office  - just because one teacher is crabby and can't handle my kid.

I feel it is unfair that I have to sit in a long line, only to get to the front and find out my son is in the office.  They call me for everything else, can they not call me to come out of the car line so I can get my child and leave?  I'm a big fan of saving time and gas.

Today, I had to get my child from the office, which required me to park my car and get my toddlers out...one is sick, and tote them up a hill to the office.  Only because that teacher  couldn't deal with my son for a few minutes until I arrived.  I am very upset about this because I think that they are punishing me, the parent and not the child.  My son could care less that he was sent to the office.

I did address the teacher before I left the school today.  She is an old hateful coot who needs to retire if she can't deal with active children.  IMHO teachers who can't deal with the over-active children as well as the calm children shouldn't be teachers.  I choose not to medicate my child and I choose to put the responsibility on the school system to come up with ways to work around my child's active nature.

My son has been doing great this year with his current teacher. She is so awesome that I will mention her by name, She is Maggie Eades.  Any kid in her class is lucky to have such a wonderful teacher. Such a big change from last year, like night and day.

 My son was expelled from Kindegarten last year, which was really upsetting for our family.  It was a terrible year and his teachers just sent him to the office every time they couldn't deal with him.  This year, he hasn't been sent to the office by his regular teacher even one time.  The only two times I know he's been to the office is when this older teacher with the bad attitude (and yes I know her name), is having a bad day and cannot deal with him. 

I'm probably going to hear from someone the school after this afternoon,  I confronted the teacher about how she is dealing with my son and told her I didn't appreciate it.  I'm sure my disgust with her was written all over my face.  I am also writing another letter to the principle because of the attitude issue.  You can talk to me without talking down to me, I happen to be 36 years old and not a kid.  I have been through way more than one person should go through in these past few years and I guess it has made me realize that I don't have to let people run all over me or my kids.

Another thing is...they don't want me to bring up that innappropriate homework assignment that was sent home last year by my son's teacher because they weren't paying attention when it was being prepared.  I think I kept a copy of it.  It was disturbing.  If they get me mad enough I might have to let that  cat out of the bag.

Anyway, I probably will have opened Pandora's Box here, but I am just irritated with people who refuse to deal with kids who may be ADHD or have other issues.  These children have physical reasons why they are over-active and impulsive and they sometimes have a hard time controlling it.  I'm sure if a mentally handicapped student were in the hall making all kinds of noises and movements people would totally ignore him or her.  They would be treated with love and not like an inconvenience.

Anyone out there have any issues with this school?  I am just wondering.  I might be overreacting, but my husband has also mentioned that this same teacher in the car rider line was hateful to him too.

By the way I have ADD and OCD and don't talk to me about teachers being fair to all kids.  I remember specifically certain teachers being very ugly to me because I was different or learned differently from other children.

It seems like after all these years nothing has changed. 

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Member Comments Total Comments: 55
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goharvick1 read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 4:39 PM

if you choose to not medicate your child that is your business.... but the school also has every right to sned him to the office and put the "responsibility" on you to come get him. there are a lot of kids out there at one time and they cannot watch all of them at once while dealing with one child acting out. i understand you have every right to raise your child as you see fit, but your choices should also have some repercussions for you to deal with and not someone else. maybe this teacher is an old hag but i would think with a child that has add or adhd you should be the last person calling people names as u should know how hurtful it can be to do so. not trying to offend you and i respect your opinion but that's just my opinion. have a good day
JIMBOB2 read my blog
May 6, 2008 | 6:27 PM

Your child is your child and you are responsible 24/7 for their actions no matter where they are or where they go until the age of 18.You raise him don't expect the school to.If he needs meds get them or put him in a school that can handle his issues.Public schools are not really geared for individuals that need special attention.Have a great day.
Just-Me-07 read my blog
May 6, 2008 | 6:54 PM

This is the problem with schools today. Parents don't take responsibility for their children's actions, but want the schools to. I agree that it is your choice whether to medicate your child or not but when he acts up, he is disturbing not only the teachers but the children that are not overactive and wanting to learn. In addition, when in the "riders line" his disruptions could cause another child to get hurt seriously. While the teachers are dealing with him, some other child might walk out in front of a car.
gadget410 read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 8:10 PM

Goharvick, Jimbob, and Just-Me, Thank you for saying it, I was going to, but you beat me to it. Some parents seem to think that once they drop off their "little angel" at school and something happens.....it must be that mean old teacher, or they are not being sensitive to your child's needs. If the child can't fit into the normal range then as you have said, it is up to the parent to be a parent, and either follow the doctor's diagnosis and advice with medication or find a school that can handle a situation like this in a more one on one setting. The public school system is just not able to do so, it is hard enough with current class sizes and teaching loads. Lilsumpthin, as a stay at home Mom you should maybe spend a little less time on your hobbies, pets and your personal interests and more time on trying to help your children and stepchildren succeed.You seem to have close family ties get their help if needed, When they reach the college level it is too late, as a college instructor I see it more and more each semester, high school "graduates" who can't read at an eighth grade level, can't fill out business form or research paper and think they can act like they did when they were in high school. There is one difference in college that shocks the crap out of them, we don't tolerate that type of behavior. Unlike the public schools they can be dropped and not allowed to return to class. It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, NOT THE SCHOOLS! YOU ARE THE PARENT Get involved and do something instead of blaming everybody else, if your child has special needs find a way to meet them. If y
gadget410 read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 8:11 PM

If your child becomes disconnected or frustrated now in first grade and you don't find a way to help him, it will only get worse as he gets older. I have seen it too many times.
lilsumpthins read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 8:13 PM

Well, I guess you would have to be there to understand. I do take responsibility for my child and he was disciplined for his part in the whole situation.

I am almost 100% positive that my son wasn't doing anything any other normal boy would do. I think he is singled out and there are situations where it is harder for him to sit still. IMHO you have to be a mother to one of these kinds of children to even remotely understand what I am going through. And I also have two toddlers and a 12 year old to boot.

I guess I really don't expect anyone to agree with me or be on my side in this situation but the way I see it, is that some teachers choose not to handle the kids at all, and instead of being nice, they are angry and they project that anger onto the parent.

I stand by my original post.
lilsumpthins read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 8:17 PM

I never said my child was an angel either...I acknowledge that he is harder than average to deal with but he is also very sweet and just recently did he win an award at school. No one else in his grade won the award, he was the top in his grade. I'm proud of him. He has made great strides this year in his academics. I don't know if he is ADHD, but it does run in the family so that could be possible. However, it isn't so bad that we should resort to the medication....yet.
lilsumpthins read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 8:20 PM

Oh and fyi gadjet, it is not any of your business how much time I spend on any of my hobbies but the large part of my day is spent with my kids and taking care of my kids so I think you are way off base and lacking in the kind of understanding of what a stay at home mom is all about.
gadget410 read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 8:39 PM

Lilsumpthins, I didn't mean to offend, but I am a parent of a mild ADD child and it has taken the better part of me and my wife's spare time to see to his needs he is 13 now and is pretty much learned to adapt to his condition and through sports and some martial arts he has learned to control himself without medication. I gave up most all of my weekend hobbies to help him with his school work, I hired a tutor with the money I spent on fishing and racing. My parents also have played a major role when we were either unable to do what was needed because of work commitments. It is great that you are able to stay at home but with most people it is just not possible to pay the bills and do so. I sympathize with your situation if it is indeed that your child is being singled out get involved with the PTA and talk to other parents if there is a problem with that one teacher then it needs to be addressed and this is the best place to get something started that leads to a solution.
bleechers read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 8:43 PM

Regardless of the actions of any child, no teacher should ever be rude to the parents of that child. I don't know all the particulars here, but I have seen my own children react differently to different teachers.
Axekick read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 8:50 PM

lilsumpthins;
I don't know if you have posted here before but you can forget getting any compassion out of this group. Now if you say you home school or you are considering home schooling they will kiss your azz you know the whole white flight thing that’s how these people roll! Lmao
lilsumpthins read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 8:54 PM

gadget, once the toddlers are older, I do plan on doing more with volunteering and working closer with the school. Right now, I cannot afford child care. I could go back to work, but I don't think that would be best for the kids.

My place, for now is with my kids. My family is number one. Yes, I enjoy occasionally some of my hobbies, but those are things I hope to be able to share with my children as they grow older.

Martial Arts is one of the things we have started trying. Last summer we tried it, and he loved it. I am willing to do it again this summer.

It is all so overwhelming sometimes. I am the nurturer, the one that has to make sure that all the needs of the kids and the husband are met. This is important to me.

Also, important is that my child is serious about being respectful of his elders no matter how hateful they might be. We had a talk about this today. I told him that even if the teacher is angry, that he should still be respectful of her/his wishes for the better good of the whole class or whatever might be going on at the moment.

I just don't get happy about specific rude people. And I will make a point to vocalize my displeasure.
bleechers read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 8:54 PM

Well, I tried to see it from your side as much as possible.

Some people have to work race into every post... that's about all they can see. Axe was full of compassion when I was unemployed.
gadget410 read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 9:09 PM

Lilsumpthins, If he shows interest in martial arts strongly encourage him it absolutely works at helping him get in touch and control of himself after only a short time you will notice a huge difference. I would encourage you to talk with the instructor and let him know your concerns they have dealt with this condition in children and can pay special attention to help your son focus his energy into positive results.
bjdgmom
May 6, 2008 | 9:16 PM

I am so happy that this is posted here. I work for the schools and need to vent and this is a perfect example of why! I would love for this mother to come spend just one day in a teachers shoes! It is a HARD job! It is like we are fighting a losing battle. It is sad that most of the parents feel the same as this mom, that there child is never at fault. We get no help when we talk to them(the parent), and the children know that. It get worse every year. My students have this "blame someone else" attitude. Our options are limited as to how we can discipline them, that is why YOU, the parent are completely responsible. You said you put it up to the school to find a way to work around your childs active nature, well is it fair to all the other 19 or 20 kids in the class to have to wait while the teacher deals with your child. Maybe your son's teacher has chosen to put your sons needs over all her other students, and that is why you have not had problems this year, but don't expect all teachers to be that way! I know teachers can be crabby but it is because we get tired of parents like you who will not take responsibility for your child! We are not special needs teachers,(there are classes for that) we are not child psychologist, we are not doctors. We are teachers, who took this job to TEACH children, not spend our day babysitting a child who has serious issues the parent refuses to accept an deal with. When a child is unruly and disrupting the class, you better believe that we are going to send them to the office! You also said that going to the office did not matter t
lilsumpthins read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 9:18 PM

ty gadget, we will probably get back into it again over the summer.

And thanks to everyone for the input. This really started out as more of a rant than anything.

Still, I like to know when I pick up my child that he is being taken care of and not just shuffled through like cattle.
bjdgmom
May 6, 2008 | 9:25 PM

Sorry I got cut off, But you said that going to the office did not matter to him , so I would love some input from you as to what the schools other options would be to get your child to mind. You better believe that the child will be called out and the parent contacted if the child refuses to follow directions. That is all we can do. That is why the parents job is to teach there child how to act in a social setting, not the schools. Don't blame us because you are not doing your job.
lilsumpthins read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 9:25 PM

OK, well, I am no expert...but when I drop off my child at school it is the schools responsibility to take care of my child until I pick him up.

If he has a bad day, which has been less often recently, then the responsibility falls on me to discipline or repremand my child.

I do that. I'm trying different strategies and it is frustrating.

There is a teacher/parent co-responsibility here but everyone is intent on blaming one party or the other.

All I was trying to say is that I felt my son was singled out and that we have been repeatedly put in a situation where someone has been hateful to us.

The largest majority of teachers are good people. I am not down on teachers as a whole. Please do not think that is where I am going with this.
lilsumpthins read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 9:27 PM

How am I NOT doing my job...thats messed up...I do a darned good job at being a mother...you are way out of line.
lilsumpthins read my blog view my photos
May 6, 2008 | 9:29 PM

bdj mom you must have perfect kids...or you live in a fantasy world.
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lilsumpthins

I am a 35 year old stay at home mom who is married and has four wonderful children. I enjoy kayaking, see my pictures of me and my husband on Oak Hollow lake last year. My kids are great, I have two toddlers, a six year old and a 12 year old step-daughter. There are soooo many things I am interested in that I won't bore you with a long list. Most of the time whatever we are doing it is family related. I believe it is important to be connected to your family...I have a wonderful mom and dad to thank for that. I love critters, I have a Lionhead Bunny named Pippin, after one of the Lord of The Rings hobbits, and a guinee pig named Guinee..(how original right?)I'd have more furkids if my husband would let me. Music is one of my passions, I love the guitar...wish I could play better than I do. My favorite all time Rock band is Queen...Freddie Mercury could sing like an angel. Favorite movies...we watch A LOT of movies... Pans Labyrinth Lord Of The Rings (all three) The Wizard of Oz Stardust (if you haven't seen this movie yet you have to rent it...) Night at The Roxbury Pretty in Pink Neverending Story Bridge to Teribithia I guess that is enough about me...are you MEGO yet?

Member Since: 2/6/2007


 

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