bleechers's Blog

Let's Hope We Won't Have to Say "Good Grief"

February 12 marked the 8th anniversary of the passing of one of America's greatest philosophers, Charles M. Schulz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. In deference to 'Sparky's' dislike for the strip's title (thrust upon him by his publisher), let's call it the "Good Ol' Charlie Brown" comic strip.

Almost everything that I held dear in my childhood has been tarnished in the intervening years. Usually the tarnish is supplied by people involved in some pathetic attempt to appear "cool" to the entertainment culture (or better, "subculture").

I grew up in a family of three boys and three girls. Naturally, I watched The Brady Bunch. Unfortunately, the cast of The Brady Bunch have been on a two-decade crusade to inject as much off-set sexual innuendo as possible into Clinton Avenue (ironically where the fictional family lived) and destroy the idealistic sit-com's image. On TV Land's Hollywood Myths & Legends program, Greg (Barry Williams) had the privilege of confirming his on-set drug use.

I'm impressed, aren't you?

Paul McCartney's Hippie Rehabilitation Tour

Paul McCartney has been on another sort of tour these last 25 years. He's on the "I was always a radical, Utopian, peace-loving hippie, honestly" image rehabilitation tour. I'm a big Beatles fan (putting it mildly) and I've come to accept John's brief, yet obnoxious, radical leftist period of the early 70s. However, as one who has for many years been devouring, discussing and dissecting McCartney's music (Beatles and solo) - he's the reason I play bass - to a degree that experts would term "unhealthy," I can find very little "utopia-spewing" leftism in the man's musical past.

Sure, he was no Margaret Thatcher, but considering the era, Paul was a pretty good John Major. McCartney wrote a couple of nice, vaguely anti-radical, political songs early in his solo career (Too Many People, Wild Life). He gave us this great line (summing up the period) "A lot of political nonsense in the air" (Wild Life). And the Beatles gave us two of the best right-wing rockers in pop music history (Taxman and Revolution).

McCartney's post-911 slogan song Freedom has this bit of Utopian, peace-loving leftism, "I will fight, for the right to live in freedom." But since that won't score any points with the rock magazines or with the Manhattan elitists, he quickly jumped back to protecting baby seals and campaigning for tofu burgers.

Rock on, Paul. All I am saying, is give war a chance.


Keeping It Clean

All that leads me to Mr. Schulz and Charlie Brown. Charles Schulz never let me down. He was so protective of the image his strip projected that he actually included a provision in his will asking that the characters remain "as authentic as possible" and that no new strips be based on them. (Schulz respected his work and his public.)

So far, so good... but as Playboy knows... a little cha-ching and a little bling can make a Mouseketeer drop her top faster than a former child TV star.

I hope and desperately pray that we never see this:

A Press Release from United Features

Well, it's about time Charlie Brown and the gang moved into the 21st century!

We're hoping the "new" Charlie Brown and his new friends will speak to a new generation. This time around the gang will be taking on the tough issues. Schroeder starts his own gangsta label and will announce he's hooked on heroin, Lucy will push for a Women's Studies department at her school, 'Ms.' Othmar will get a divorce, Linus will get a tattoo and Snoopy will realize that glorifying war is just plain wrong. But the most open and educational plot line will revolve around Charlie Brown's secret love for "the little Red-Haired Boy". Charlie Brown's new friends will include Hip Hop (a friend of Franklin's who teaches Schroeder a thing or two about music); Scruffy (a homeless dog from New Orleans who steals Snoopy's Van Gough... "to feed his family"); Maya (a friend of Sally's who helps all the kids see how empty their lives truly are); and Ducky (a new boy who helps Charlie Brown see the inherent evils and metaphors for war evident in organized sports - well sports involving boys anyway). Joe Schlabotnik step aside! Charlie Brown has a new hero: Nancy Pelosi! Follow the gang as they go to Washington and learn a little bit about the workers' controlling the means of production. Linus visits a mosque with his new friends from CAIR and concludes that all religion is 'just too darn dangerous'... except Islam. Snoopy's done with the military industrial complex too! He's no longer chasing the Red Baron or writing chauvinistic novels, now he's chasing his feminine side and writing articles for Cosmopolitan! Peanuts 21st Century... get excited!! (Made possible by a grant from the MacArthur Foundation)


"I can't stand it. I just can't stand it."