ShaneKSmith's Blog

2/22/2008 3:26 PM

Wal-mart can prevent Shocking Experience

I refer to the new Wal-Mart in Winston-Salem, NC on Peteer's Creek Parkway.

I am using reference links to other stories just for reference to point out a fact that Stories of Extreme Coincidence happen to me so often I can’t even recall them. This is a good forum to put a couple of recent events together.

Those of you that click on the Wal-mart nature boy link are reminded not to let your kids see a previous profile picture of a former Fox Blogger, Nature_Boy. I think Nature_Boy came back to the blogs as someone else.

My new friend Daniel Reeves from the make a wish foundation has leukemia and he wants me to point out that co-incidence has nothing to do with it that Divine Intervention is the term I should use.

I am walking with my wife near the photo department of Wal-Mart on a cold day wearing my fancy cowboy boots holding on to a metal cart. I feel a splitting sensation in the palm of my hands and I think , Oh Great, my hands are dry it’s cold and they are getting chapped and cracking. I’d rather be hit in the face than get a paper cut or feel my hands splitting from the cold. So I look at my hand and nothing is split, no blood. I grab the buggy. Then again, excuse me but I go DAMN and pull my hand back. Look at it again, nothing to show for the pain. My wife says what’s wrong. I said I am getting shocked! She says you are? GREAT! GREAT, I think, thanks for the sympathy. She says No No Shane I am glad you are getting shocked because I thought I was going crazy. She told me when she has come to Wal-Mart on other occasions the same thing has happened to her. I said , Thanks, I think.

So I go on a hunt for a manager. I find a kid named Robert. This was after three or better so he was a second shifter or working a long first. He had a manager’s badge and walked with me to the place where I was getting shocked.
Well of course I wasn’t getting shocked anymore, he and most of his employees wear tennis shoes so they don’t feel anything. He pacifies me and promises to fix it or report it.

So through the evening at home I am imagining what Fire Marshal Bill Would do from In Living Color. I have visions of Babies sitting in the buggy seat getting fried and crying. I see myself wanting the parents of wild lost screaming children to step on a wet floor and get electrocuted. Then I think well that’s evil that will come back to get me. Then I think what if somebody comes in here with a pace maker and it shocks the life out of the device and they die! What if I read about this sometime and never had done anything about it. So I call a first shift guy, a manager, so they told me but can’t remember his name. OK Sir, I will check into it.

I’ve been into Wal-mart a few times since no shocks and thinking nothing of it. Weeks go by. Two days ago around 7pm or after at checkout walking towards the pharmacy I pass a couple, a man and his mother who was riding a Wal-mart Electric car. I heard him talking about being shocked. The female clerk had a look of disbelief but I just said Hey you aren’t crazy, my wife and I have experienced the same thing. After I jumped in there for the guy the clerk promised to report this odd thing. I can’t remember her name but she will remember because she won’t touch a buggy anymore.

So what’s going to cost more? The fine from zoning. Digging up the entire floor to fix the short or the lawsuit from a customer that experiences a real shocking experience.

What if someone responsible gets fried instead of some irresponsible parent who lets their kids run wild through the store. What a dilemma! Who gets to take the story from here? I want to walk into Wal-mart and see Nature_Boy greeting me at the door with his custom Greeter’s Outfit and then see everyone’s hair standing up straight just like Bello Nockl

I only hope someone important does something before it isn’t funny anymore.